"No Najeeeb, I don't need to purchase a motherboard! I am trying to tell you I am the Mother of the Board! No...B-O-A-R-...No, I'm not bored! I am trying to tell you.....ugh....OK...do you know about PTA? I am President of the Board! No Najeeb....I am NOT the President eith....Najib....Najib........chnklmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (phone disconnected after 2:47 minutes with Dell's for Schools)"

posted by jnsnfab5

"This new age church sure has a weird way of giving communion."

posted by Alexandra French

"I'm thinking...pepperoni pizza and some TV. I'm also thinking...Benedryl and baby."

posted by ppartney

""You did not stuff that pinata with those penis shaped suckers I got from Betsey's engagement party did you?""

posted by everythingblings

"Hahaha, excuse me, I told you I am lactose intolerant!"

posted by momsdailyretreat

"Johnny, you may be right, that isn't brown play dough. :0"

posted by marterberry

"...is that what I think it is?...Yup! that's butt-crack!!"

posted by bellamarcella

"oops sorry kids, I thought that video was Pinocchio, not my birthing video."

posted by bellasmome

"I can't believe you would rent elf [filtered]. You have a baby to take care of! You should be more cornerned with the baby than watching an elf take her stockings off."

posted by hannahjobanana