I'm recently divorced and reeling from my ex-husband jumping immediately into a serious relationship. Luckily my 8 year old is managing his immaturity and midlife crisis pretty well. Recently, his behavior with his girlfriend in front of my daughter has become unacceptable. His girlfriend has pretty much moved in and is a pathetic, needy mess...determined to remove any vestige of my influence on my daughter as she can including throwing away the clothes I bought for her and replacing them with "her style" and telling my daughter that her hair looks terrible (I took her to get the haircut). You get the idea. At the same time, this woman resents my daughter creating some conflict with her father. The conflict being that my ex has chosen his girlfriend over his daughter's needs. Finally, my daughter told me that she had had enough of being bullied by this woman and her neglectful father and that whenever she is exiled to her room so they can make out in the family room. Whenever she hears them kissing and moaning (how gross is that) she rings her cowbell non-stop until they stop. The visual just makes me laugh. Luckily I gain full custody of her in a few months. Hallelujah!
More cowbell
Posted by: squidmama
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n8mom78 says
and never say anything bad about her dad, even if it's true. She'll just feel bad about herself as a result.
texassahm says
PS Even if you think the new girlfriend is the skank of the month/year, be polite and coordial to her, maybe even act like you're best friends if it gets you what you want - she will be a very important tool in the future in getting what you want out of your ex husband. :)
texassahm says
I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is going through this mess (you too). Please take everything your daughter says about dad with a grain of salt. If you get too excited or react in a way that gives her a lot of attention, she'll learn to exaggerate to get attention. Kids are smart and they know how to change their behavior to get what they want. She wants to please both of her parents, so not only may she start exaggerating what goes on over there to make you happy, she is likely exaggerating what you say and do over at Dad's to make him happy. Take it from me, I used to have a sweet 8yr old stepdaughter, but over the years she learned that exaggerating and making up stories about what goes on in our house made her mother happy, so she kept doing it. She is 17 now and has a VERY hard time being truthful to most people in her life - even over the silly stuff. Protect your daughter as much as you can, when she's in your house, listen to her, but don't get overly emotional at her information, when she is out of earshot, take up your concerns with your ex. You'll be teaching your daughter how a mature person handles divorce (unlike what it seems her father is doing.)
ITM_Host_Pia says
LOL! Thank you for sharing your story :)