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The best guide to motherhood
  • I can't believe you would rent elf [filtered]. You have a baby to take care of! You should be more cornerned with the baby than watching an elf take her stockings off.

    Average: 5 (1 vote)
  • If our dirty diaper bag is empty except for this library book, then, um, what exactly did you put in the book drop?

    Average: 3.5 (12 votes)
  • Do you see this book? Look at it memorize it, learn it word for word, this is your new Bible. You will need to know it anytime he gets cranky. Don't forget!

    Average: 3.5 (4 votes)
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    You stayed in the bathroom the entire time while I got the baby ready,filled the diaperbag,loaded the entire car and all along you were hiding and reading this!

    Average: 3 (3 votes)
  • So, you're telling me this little book has ALL the information I'll ever need to know about raising my child? All in this LITTLE book?

    Average: 2.6 (7 votes)
  • "the perfect martini mix for ferberizing mom's."

    Average: 2.3 (6 votes)
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