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A precious moment?
  • I'm thinking...pepperoni pizza and some TV. I'm also thinking...Benedryl and baby.

    Average: 5 (1 vote)
  • I'm thinking...pepperoni pizza and some TV. I'm also thinking...Benedryl and baby.

    Average: 5 (1 vote)
  • If I pass this gas really slowly and keep very neutral look on my face, she's bound to think it was the baby

    Average: 4.6 (5 votes)
  • He's so cute, yes he is, he looks just like you. For the last time it's a she!

    Average: 4 (1 vote)
  • Should I tell her how stupid she sounds before or after we make love? Can I ask her to make love yet? I'm confused...

    Average: 4 (4 votes)
  • I am not that great an actor.I cant keep saying how cute this kid is for the millionth time!
    If she asks me one more time I swear Im telling her the truth!

    Average: 3.5 (6 votes)
  • I feel something warm and wet on my arm. My arm is wet.

    Average: 3.5 (2 votes)
  • I'm totally standing in the diaper pail, aren't I?

    Average: 2.9 (9 votes)
  • Ok, well Mommy has to leave for work now...awww, did you just pooh pooh in your diaper again?

    Average: 2.8 (4 votes)
  • I can't believe it's my turn to watch the kid. I'm so changing the schedule she always gets the good days off.

    Average: 2.8 (4 votes)
  • "where is the nearest emergency exit - i am so outta here."

    Average: 2.2 (6 votes)
  • Let's see - was I supposed to feed him before I changed the diaper? Or change the diaper before I feed him?

    Average: 2 (5 votes)
  • And I had to wonder if he was anything like me, did you just hear him-CUT THE CHEESE!!?!!

    Average: 2 (6 votes)
  • I'm thinking...pepperoni pizza and some TV. I'm also thinking...Benedryl and baby.

    Average: 1 (1 vote)
  • oy. and all i wanted was a [filtered].

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